Right i got this in an e mail and i dont normally bother with this type of thing but this made me laugh!!! I will try and update it as we go.
Adam

Right go onto the google search engine www.google.co.uk and enter your first name followed by the word 'needs' so for example 'john needs' then pick the funniest/best answer you get and post it on here.
You should get things such as 'John needs a shave'

1) Adam needs a Mustang
2) Gemma needs a Kidney!!!
3) Dave needs some plywood
4) Aymat needs... to make a new Forum area called "Standard in uk, European demand"
5) Edmund needs a slap upside the head
6) Rupert needs........ another Ferrari!
7) Pete needs a semi-large, securely fenced yard to meet his off-leash exercise needs
8 ) Andrew needs: a railway
9) David needs a wash - or at least a dry clean
10) mick needs to clean his glasses
11) Carl needs help
12) Bill Needs Some Help To Expel Alien Gang Members
13) Victoria needs safe injection site, says mayor
14) Alex Needs You!
15) Ivan needs to stay alive in prison for lots of reasons

Gemma needs....a kidney!

Dave needs........some plywood!

Only one result for me...

Aymat needs... to make a new Forum area called "Standard in uk, European demand"

(from Mister SteveP on a certain board V3M )

I enjoyed mine so much that I've arranged them into a kind of storyboard... here goes:



Edmund needs to be loved but he is ruled by the stars, planets and sun.

Edmund needs to know of this.

Edmund needs a kick in the pants.

Edmund needs to have his turkish delight.

Edmund needs to "brush" his eyebrows!

Edmund needs a buddy.

Edmund needs to put on two parties at once -- a raging kegger for his friends and a tea party for his relatives.

Edmund needs to remain a good man.

Edmund needs some more books (and maybe girls) in his life.

Edmund needs to make a choice between the two women.

Edmund needs more than that hug.

Edmund needs her to be his wife, not his nurse.

Edmund needs an heir, and he needs a healthy and fertile wife to get one.

Edmund "needs" the idea of her committing suicide because of him.

Edmund needs to die! He's so stupid!

Edmund needs to be reminded that all of his conquests during race week will eventually learn that they were with a loser and end up in therapy for years.

Edmund needs a lesson on respect BIG TIME.

Edmund Needs A Slap Upside The Head!

Edmund needs to be beaten.

Edmund needs to be slashed.

Edmund needs to be stopped.

Edmund needs to pay for his sin with his blood.

Edmund needs to understand that this isn't a crazed few dreading his idea.

Edmund needs to win his 30000 pounds.

Edmund needs money to save himself from being killed in nasty ways by the baby-eating bishop of Bath and Wells.

Edmund needs to get off his high horse.

Rupert needs........ another Ferrari!

I can't decide between these, so I'm sorry, I've got to post three options, then Adam, you can pick the one you like most! However the last one is my favourite, yet the other two apply as well! It's a good idea with infinite options and some possibilities for hilarity.

Pete Needs Our Prayers

Pete needs wins this week and next to stay alive

Pete needs a semi-large, securely fenced yard to meet his off-leash exercise needs

Pete

How silly. Why am I even writing this?

Andrew needs:

a railway (cos I can't afford the one in the UK)
the love (of a not-so-good woman)
a manual (how true, still haven't got a haynes)
to visit this site (when the 340s no well)
a belt (of the trouser kind I hope)

David needs a wash - or at least a dry clean
David needs most is support from a stable and harmonious family
David needs to become more tolerant, especially of emotions.
David needs your prayers

mick needs to clean his glasses ,quite appropriate I suppose

The top answer:

"Carl needs help"

Pretty appropriate I guess

Bill Needs Big Changes

Bill Needs Some Help To Expel Alien Gang Members [2nd on list and my fav ]

Bill needs ‘a very big knife taking to it’

bill needs more consultation

bill needs examining

ok here goes:

Victoria needs safe injection site, says mayor
Victoria needs major traffic overhaul
Victoria needsto take back rail network!

These are just a few of what came up!
now you decide (any no piss take because of my name my mum chose it not me!)

Alex Needs You!
Alex needs to open a pizza store in MC
ALEX needs some dirty deeds

Nothing good for griz..
Griz