for those who dont like christmas

Post by **redline** » 20 Dec 2008 01:14 pm

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed at the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going south for the season

Post by **jtbo** » 20 Dec 2008 03:26 pm

Awww, poor Santa, maybe he could use a Christmas card?

Post by **classicswede** » 21 Dec 2008 10:46 pm

Ungratefull@#@#@@##@. I gave him a bottle of bud last year

Post by **jtbo** » 23 Dec 2008 02:33 pm

classicswede wrote:Ungratefull@#@#@@##@. I gave him a bottle of bud last year

Maybe you should give him one that Goblins drink? That would make him grin

Post by **Chris_C** » 23 Dec 2008 05:55 pm

Post by **redline** » 23 Dec 2008 06:44 pm

Post by **redline** » 23 Dec 2008 06:45 pm

classicswede wrote:Ungratefull@#@#@@##@. I gave him a bottle of bud last year

yeah it would be the Budwater that peed him off.

stick to the real stuff in future

Post by **nomead** » 23 Dec 2008 07:18 pm

By coincidence I'm enjoying right now an Ultrabrune d'Ecaussinnes. There's enough of everything - taste, %, size (the bottle is 0.75 litres!)... can't beat it, really. But isn't it always like this - the best beer is the one in front of you, unless it's truly poor p*ss.

Post by **filthyjohn** » 24 Dec 2008 02:31 am

Hobgoblin FTmegaW.

Post by **Bazboy** » 24 Dec 2008 03:46 am

I love beer, all beers in fact, dont think ive ever had one i didnt like. Ive even drank co op lager before and it wasn't horribly bad lol. Great poem by the way made me smile.

Dan

Post by **volvosneverdie** » 24 Dec 2008 07:58 am

Id have to draw the line at Timothy Taylors Landlord.
The only beer ever to make me spit beer back out.
Avoid.

Post by **redline** » 24 Dec 2008 12:41 pm

volvosneverdie wrote:Id have to draw the line at Timothy Taylors Landlord.
The only beer ever to make me spit beer back out.
Avoid.

Im not surprised if its the same Tim Taylor that was in the sitcom home improvements , you know good old tool time Tim , everything he did was a screw up

Post by MJ » 24 Dec 2008 04:20 pm

That was a great show. More Power!!