Off topic - examination papers

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Cornholio
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Off topic - examination papers

Post by Cornholio »

I recently received these from someone, they take me back a few years! I especially like the one with the elephant.

Then again, what hope do we have when the people setting exams don't know how to use the possessive apostrophe?

"A proton approaches a long line of positive charge so that with it's [sic] initial trajectory..."

4/10, must try harder.



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Post by Chris_C »

Re elepahnt one:

"Does object continue to move after coming to rest".... FFS, I used to get sarcastic on school exams papers, prolly didn't do my results any favours, but most of them are so badly phrased...

Some great answers there though, I never managed anything on that scale!
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Re: Off topic - examination papers

Post by redline »

looks like Gavin is turning into Dekay
Cornholio wrote: Then again, what hope do we have when the people setting exams don't know how to use the possessive apostrophe?

they are great ( and so clean apsrt from the one where the bloke slept with his bosses wife of course :oops: )




they asked the driver of the train that crashed in cumbria what had happened and he replied that he saw a car thief.

when asked if the car thief was on the line the driver replied


No, he was in the field but I got him !!!!!!

( In the original joke it wasn't a car thief but a member of an ethnic minority,
I thought in order for this joke to be P.C. and acceptable I should change it to someone we can all hate )
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Post by germ »

P.C. omg

redline can you explain this when i was at school people called each other names etc this is normal part of growing up but white people call white people names-black people call black people name but why cant it interchange in races in my opp that is racist??

i know when i was at school i got called a nigga and other words forbidden to be said (i am white)

i got bulliyed all my childhood by this guy and nothing ever got sorted and the story of the situation always got turned round on me, and i had all the bruses and he didnt have a scratch :(

i never knew who to talk to and teachers were worse then useless and my parents said to hit him lots but i wouldnt do that sort of thing :(

sorry for the hjack but i got amoment of sadness. :cry:
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Post by jtbo »

I just did beat up anyone who did try to bully me, simple solution to problem, maybe not nicest, but then again who says that I'm a nice person ;)

Had few of those creativity moments at school, few exams did fail surely. Once however I took full points as that was first time I really did prepare for exams, but they could not accept that and claimed that I cheated, which I did not so after following scene of rude words and slightly less minor violence did never do even homeworks again.

Can't say that would be proud how school went, but I can blame adhd for that, however back then they did know what it was :P
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Post by redline »

bullying and racism of any kind is terrible and something I have always taken a strong stand against.

However I can never get my head round the fact that for years we have been trying to stop people calling afro carribean , african and afro Americans Nigger ,yet since the invaision of Crap sorry I meant to say Rap music , It has become perfectly acceptable for people of those cultures to call each other Nigger wtf is that all about ?

My foster son is afro carribean and he is always using the word ( much to my disgust ) its almost a term of endearment among afro carribean kids where I live ,but if my kids called him a Nigger there would be hell to pay.

unfortunately racial discrimination ( or the race card as its sometimes called )is widely being used these days by SOME of the people it was designed to protect against the very people who are the the original residents of the country they have chosen to settle in ( i.e. like SOME Muslim extremists in Britain )
I think its also important to remember racial discrimination is only one form of discrimination ,

a lot of the members here are very discrimiatory ,

I have found them to be ageist , fatist ( I'll give you fecking Manatee )
and worst of all Golfist lol
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Post by jtbo »

redline wrote:bullying and racism of any kind is terrible and something I have always taken a strong stand against.
Same here, also I find here some things really weird how some words are forbidden and such, but problem itself is not done anything about.

In our Finnish forum there is someone at times starting topic "black guy did this or that" now I find that very racists way of thinking as 100% of cases there is nothing to do with skin colour or anything like that.

People should really start to think about others as just human beings that are individuals there is no any relation with ethnic background or anything like that. Mostly these things come up when someone has committed some crime.

Of course we don't have very much people from other cultures or such, this makes problem even worse, but I will be very much against any racism and will tell always how it is wrong way of thinking, surely they put me soon into isolation or something because of that, but I don't care, it is important thing and hopefully at least some people think about it more.

It makes me very sad that there are such politicians trying to get into parliament that have very racists opinions, we do have elections next month and even I don't usually show any interest to politics, I just might to use my vote to at least trying to make sure that there is little bit smaller chance to get such politician into handle of power.
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Post by MJ »

Hehe, some good ones there. I like the equation that ends with the stickman hanging himself :lol:

I agree that racism is terrible and should be stopped, as Jani says, just blaming one ethnic group for things is wrong.

Racism is entirely different to PC though, and we shouldn't stop jokes, like insulting the french. There's a difference between nasty racial insults and light-hearted jokes, such as about people accents.

It'd be a boring place if we couldn't joke about people's silly Liverpool accents, and they couldn't retaliate about my (subtle) west country accent. ;)

I know there is no obvious line between the two, but as a society we must make that decision and stay the right side.

So, an Irishman, a Scotsman and an Englisman walk into a bar...
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Post by redline »

MJ wrote:Racism is entirely different to PC though, and we shouldn't stop jokes, like insulting the french. .
I love Al Murray's pub landord :oops:


couldent agree more but the joke was orgionally about a native of Pakistan
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Post by jtbo »

So I can say that drinking beer warm is weird habit of UK residents sm84 :shock: :lol:

Must say, that I don't even drink beer, lol.

But sure it is silly how this is going to be banned because it is racists:
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Shows how twisted and weird this has gone into, important things are ignored and only small details are being watched with some stupid dedication or something.

To be even remotely on topic too, this is what most my workbooks look really as well my exams, quite boring really and it is not likely you will get much from it, but perhaps that is better ;) Tip, this is really old material, some of you are younger :lol:
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Post by germ »

Golliwogs were banned only a few years ago...
i can kind of see why...

this is dangerous territory i guess but that thing about head scafs in england was crazy people come into england and expect to do what they want and ignor are ""culture" and try and CHANGE IT!
to make christianity illigal,english ways of life illigal and it goes on. :(

you know more and more english people are moving away from england to france spain and other places to get away from the uncomfortable feeling in england,There are thousands of english people in france...
this must mean they are unhappy in england.

whats going to happen in 5 maybe 10 years time?

i am part of the future i have to worrie about this stuff


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Post by Chris_C »

jtbo wrote:So I can say that drinking beer warm is weird habit of UK residents sm84 :shock: :lol:
Simple Jani, our beer has a flavour that doesn't need to be hidden by freezing the taste buds first, unlike the gnats p*ss that comes out of half of Europe (I say half, it's well known I like some Euro beer, but remember, 'beater comes from the same town as Aymat ;))
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Post by jtbo »

Chris_C wrote: Simple Jani, our beer has a flavour that doesn't need to be hidden by freezing the taste buds first, unlike the gnats p*ss that comes out of half of Europe (I say half, it's well known I like some Euro beer, but remember, 'beater comes from the same town as Aymat ;))
I'm sure there is more than half that are bad.

My very accurate scientific analysis tells that all brands here are very bad as people tend to throw up after drinking so stuff can't be very good.

Anyway when studying cases where people have been at work trip to other countries percentage of throwing up is even higher so it have to be that their stuff is even worse, won't stay in at all :lol:

And there is no doubt that my conclusion of this analysis would not be correct as I'm no beer drinker I have no any preferences either, it have to be how it is :D
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Post by Chris_C »

:lol: sm53 sm53 sm53 sm53 sm53 sm53 sm53
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Post by redline »

Jani ,I think the basic problem here (and I am sure Cornholio will be the first to agree ) is that some people confuse the word Lager with BEER ,
I shall let an expert explain

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the pub landlord says

the two are totally different and should never be confused

Lager is a well attenuated drink brewed in cool conditions using a slow-acting brewers yeast, known as a bottom-fermenting yeast, and then stored (or "lagered") for a period in cool conditions to clear away particles and certain flavour compounds to produce a clean taste. The most popular examples of drink brewed using the lager method are pale lagers, also known as largers.usually consumed in vast quantities by spotty student types who can't handle their drink like this


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and GIRLS .

who usually end up looking like this

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Where as BEER is the world's oldest and most popular alcoholic beverage, selling more than 133 billion litres (35 billion gallons) per year - producing total global revenues of $331.8 billion in 2004. It is produced by the fermentation of sugars derived from starch-based material—the most common being malted barley; however wheat, corn and rice are also widely used, usually in conjunction with the barley. Less widely used starch sources include cassava root in Africa, potato in Brazil, and agave in Mexico.
The vast majority of beers are made with malted barley, hops, water and yeast. Hops are used to impart bitterness, flavour and aroma to beer, and also for their natural antiseptic qualities. The yeast in beer causes fermentation.
Beer uses varying ingredients, production methods and traditions. The type of yeast and production method may be used to classify beer into ale and spontaneously fermented beers. Some beer writers and organisations differentiate and categorise beers by various factors into beer styles and it is only to be drunk by men.


o.k. glad to have cleared that up !!!!!!



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